I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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