A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
