it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
