I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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