Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
