I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
