I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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