'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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