DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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