it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
