After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
one might say we're banned from that church
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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