I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
