In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
His nipple licking is glorious
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