Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
