this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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