i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
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