i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
