Kiss
Puke
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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