Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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