we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
