That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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