They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
