Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
