hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
