Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
