hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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