She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
