Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
