Whod you bang
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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