Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
My vagina just clenched in fear
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
