i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
