dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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