community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
false alarm, still single
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
