He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
