is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
