I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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