Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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