my room smells like sperm. sweet.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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