oh god the rape fog is back!
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
