Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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