we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
