I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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