3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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