That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
