youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
