There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
A+ Viking dick
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
