she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Michael Bay diarrhea
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
