It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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