just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
