I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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