i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
