I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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