Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
