No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
