can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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