addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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